Thank you to Scribner for providing me with a copy of Melissa Broder’s novel, Milk Fed, in exchange for an honest review.
Rachel is in her mid-twenties and living the fast life in Hollywood, California. She works for a talent agency by day and moonlights as a stand-up comedian with a weekly gig. However, Rachel’s primary job is her all-consuming obsession with staying skinny. Her life is ruled by a sadistic exercise and calorie restriction routine. This singular focus leads to not only incredible unhappiness, but also isolation, as she prefers to eat alone and fears social events due to food.
Rachel’s life changes when she meets Miriam. Miriam is the daughter of the owners of a frozen yogurt shop that Rachel frequents. It may seem contradictory, but Rachel has a sweet-tooth and she has worked out the exact order size/combo of a low-fat frozen yogurt that gives her a treat that doesn’t kill her calorie count. Previously, Rachel had only met Miriam’s brother, who was precise with Rachel’s yogurt order, no questions asked. Miriam not only dares to question Rachel’s order, but pushes her to try a different, calorific combination. Rachel caves and indulges.
This experience sends Rachel into a spiral of overconsumption as she lets go and experiences all of the food pleasures that she had been denying herself for so long. She also becomes infatuated with Miriam, who is seemingly innocent and inexperienced.
The two women are polar opposites. Miriam is from a strict and observant Jewish family, while Rachel is lapsed in her Jewish faith. Miriam is tightly bonded with her parents, while Rachel’s parental situation is beyond complicated. Physically, Miriam is overweight, living in a body that Rachel fears. Yet, despite their different lives, there is a mutual sexual attraction. Will Rachel learn to love herself? Will a new romance with the magnetic Miriam change Rachel’s perspective?
Milk Fed is a force of a novel, a lightening-fast read that I found impossible to put down. The primary question of the story is whether or not someone has the guts to live their authentic life. When we first meet Rachel, she is an absolute mess, which goes far beyond her eating disorder. Rachel is desperate for validation. The relationship that she has with her mother is so toxic ( including childhood weight related trauma) that Rachel’s therapist encourages Rachel to take a detox from her mom, which involves a temporary cut in contact. This might have worked, except for Rachel has latched on to a “mother substitute” in a friendship that she has with an older coworker, a woman who constantly praises Rachel’s methods of depriving herself. It might be even more messed up than Rachel’s relationship with her real mother.
On the surface, Miriam seems to be happy in her own skin. She indulges in the things she enjoys and she is open about the love she has for her own family. She has qualities that Rachel so desperately wants. However, what Rachel initially mistakes for innocence, is actually fear and repression. Miriam knows that the only way to remain in her family is to follow expectations. She must eventually marry a man and bear children. She cannot have a future with Rachel, without being rejected by her family. In Miriam’s eyes, she sees the ease in which Rachel can love another woman and wishes that she could be more like Rachel. Miriam sees freedom in Rachel’s life.
In Miriam and Rachel, Broder has create two strong and complex women. Rachel’s journey is inspiring and the story ends on the right note, a realistic note.
There are magical and dream elements in Milk Fed,and many times, I stopped to admire Broder’s vivid descriptions and lush prose. I felt mixed emotions with the love story aspect. I’m a heterosexual, middle-aged married woman who does not have very much experience reading erotica. I may be off-base, but I would define large sections of Milk Fed as erotica. It was steamy. I don’t want to offend Broder with the comparison, but the erotic scenes in Milk Fed, were what I was hyped-up to expect the much milder, Fifty Shades of Grey to be.
To be clear, there are no comparisons at all between these two novels!
That said, I did not find the erotic sections to be very stimulating, but I suspect that comes down to personal taste. I found the romantic moments, where they were testing the waters to be very sensual and sexy. For example, when Rachel first holds Miriam’s hand in a movie theatre or when she helps Miriam put on lipstick. These awkward moments when neither woman can admit to their desire, yet the desire is palpable, were intense. I think this is where I responded because I prefer the intimacy of the indirect, uncertain moments early on, to the blatant erotic images. When I mentioned personal taste above, I’m speaking more to this, rather than the fact that I’m heterosexual. I think think anyone can appreciate and embrace a great love story or sex scene no matter their orientation.
Milk Fed is an original story involving the various things we can long for in our lives, especially relationships, both with others and ourselves. Although, thankfully, I cannot relate to Rachel’s myriad of troubles, I can relate to her quest to live her authentic life. I felt empathy for Rachel and Miriam, ultimately rooting for both of them to choose the life that will bring them happiness.