Thank you to Random House Publishing Group Ballantine Books for providing me with a copy of Doree Shafrir’s memoir, Thanks for Waiting: The Joy (and Weirdness) of Being a Late Bloomer, in exchange for an honest review.
Writer and journalist Doree Shafrir’s memoir details her life as a self-professed “Late Bloomer.” Shafrir reflects on her life from her preteen years at camp, when she felt like the last girl to make-out with a boy, to her young-adult years, when she didn’t hit the same life milestones as her peers.
Thanks for Waiting is a reminder that life often doesn’t follow a schedule, but that also doesn’t mean that your life is less fabulous or somehow a failure as compared with others who seem to be living a more traditional path. Shafrir didn’t not find her husband, Matt, until she was in her mid-thirties and she did not have a child until years later, after many rounds of IVF. However, I don’t know if this necessarily makes her a “late bloomer.” I think she just blossomed in different areas.
As I read Thanks for Waiting, I viewed Shafrir as a woman focused on her education and career, both of which led her to incredible opportunities, including working for Buzzfeed. She mentioned the frustration of getting older and not owning property, yet she was living in New York City and Los Angeles. I’m Shafrir’s age and I lived a majority of my life in Los Angeles. I can count on one hand the friends in our age group that own homes. It’s an incredibly expensive city and certainly not a mark of failure to be a renter.
I think the “women having it all” is a bit of a myth. Happiness is certainly possible, but there are situations in everyone’s life where they have to make choices or give-up something to have something else. Shafrir compares herself to other women who seem to “have it all,” those who had career/marriage/babies/houses, all figured out by the time they were thirty. I suspect that most women compare or have been fed the cultural idea of a “time line.” We get anxious when everyone around us seems to be getting married or having babies. We are told that something is wrong if we deviate from the timeline. It’s a message that is hard to shake.
Although Shafrir admits to her anxieties of not hitting those milestones at the appropriate times and of being a “late bloomer,” in the end, it really doesn’t matter. The stress of her twenties and thirties, gives way to a new career, a loving husband, and a baby boy. She might be an older parents and her concept of her dream job has changed, but she is happy and thriving.
I enjoyed Thanks for Waiting, primarily for Shafrir’s honest writing. As someone who has also taken an unusual life path, I could relate to many parts of her memoir. It’s a strong reminder that life doesn’t always go according to plan and that’s okay.