Book Review- Nina Totenberg's Dinners with Ruth

Thank you to Libro FM for the audio galley of Nina Totenberg’s memoir, Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships.

Journalist Nina Totenberg shares intimate details from her decades long friendship with justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. In addition to her relationship with Ginsburg, Totenberg shares stories from other important friendships, such as those with fellow NPR correspondents, Cokie Roberts and Linda Wertheimer.

I listed to the audio version of this book, narrated by the author. Totenberg has a warm and engaging voice, making it a pleasure to hear her share her stories. I think it would be easy for some people to dismiss this book as “for liberals” but politics plays a small role. In fact, Totenberg conveys a wistfulness for a time when people of different political ideologies could share a friendship, especially when explaining the deep respect between justices Ginsburg and Scalia, a relationship that pushed beyond political ideology. Totenberg focuses her book on the commonalities and humanity that creates bonds, not the things which separate us.

Totenberg and her friends all began their careers when women were not viewed as equals. Totenberg revealed that woman could not even get a credit card in their name until the 1970’s. As a woman born in 1977, this just put into perspective how different my life has been from that of my mom. I feel like I understood my mom’s generation on a deeper level from reading Dinners with Ruth. The friendships they formed not only fed their souls, but were critical for opportunities in the work place. The women of Totenberg’s generation helped each other move up the ladder; rather than seeing competitors, they took victories in the successes of their friends.

Dinners with Ruth is a fantastic book to gift to a friend. As I’m approaching fifty, it made me take stock of my own friendships and feel grateful. I also appreciate the strength of my mom’s generation, paving the way for better opportunities in my life.

Book Review- Hua Hsu's Stay True

Thank you to NetGalley and Libro FM for providing me with both physical and audio copies of Hua Hsu’s memoir, Stay True.

A recent winner of the Pulitzer Prize for memoir, Hsu recounts his childhood and college years, including the murder of a close friend.

I’m the same age as Hsu and what struck me most about Stay True was how Hsu so vividly captured young adulthood in the late 90’s. I felt transported back to that time in a way that I have not felt from any other writing set in that decade. It was a remarkable experience. Further more, having also lived in the Bay Area during college, I went to Mills and the author attended Berkeley, I connected with the setting, in addition to the era.

Prior to the death of his friend, one of Hsu’s primary concerns was establishing his identity. Visiting record stores and curating his music tastes is an important aspect of this. I remember doing the same in the late 90’s, prior to mp3 players or streaming, when figuring out your tastes and identity took quite a bit of effort and perhaps, even seemed more meaningful.

Hsu creates zines to reflect his thoughts and tastes. Zines are still around of course, but with blogging and social media, a zine feels like a relic of the past. Compared with modern sensibilities, a rapid-fire consumer culture and short attention spans, a zine is positively slow and permanent. It’s akin to a piece of art. All this to say, I had forgotten how we existed in the 90’s and the things that seemed so important when coming of age. Through Hsu’s writing, I felt nostalgic for those early internet days, before social media and before it was common to capture every moment with our phones. How do we know what is special, if we always aim to capture everything?

In addition to pop culture, Hsu’s identity is shaped by his family and the death of his friend. Hsu is a Taiwanese-American and an only child. I am also an only child and I can verify that this signifier has an enormous impact on developing identity. During high school. Hsu’s father moved to Taiwan for work. It’s hard to believe it now, but back during the 80’s and 90’s it was enormously expensive to make phone calls. I think of how lucky we are now, especially as my step kid’s live in Sweden and we can inexpensively speak with them whenever we want. But back then, even the shortest of calls, even calls to a nearby city, were prohibitively expensive. As a work around, Hsu would connect with his father via sending faxes, including getting help on homework this way.

Hsu’s friend Ken was murdered during their time at Berkley. Ken and Hsu had very different personalities. While Hsu sought out obscure bands and thrift store clothes, Ken was less alternative, blending in, rather than stand out. However, this isn’t to say that Ken was actively seeking to mesh. Ken was authentically himself or at least appears to be. Ken’s death during a robbery, shook up Hsu and their extended friend group, the first peer lost. I didn’t experience the loss of a peer until I was in my mid-twenties. It is of course shocking and upsetting to lose a friend, but there is the other level of the death of a person your own age. A confrontation with mortality when you feel invincible.

I was engrossed in Stay True from page one and felt emotionally connected until the last page. A fantastic memoir, one that I have been recommending to everyone. I’m sure with the Pulitzer win that it will get a big, much deserved boost.

Oh, and nothing to do with the book, but one more little side note. I discovered that Hsu is a professor at Bard College in New York, which is where I spent the fall semester of 1995, prior to having to leave due to a family illness.

Book Review - Michael Cecchi- Azzolina's Your Table is Ready: Tales of a New York City Maitre D'

Thank you to NetGalley and Libro FM for providing me with both digital and audio copies of Michael Cecchi-Azzolina’s memoir, Your Table is Ready: Tales of a New York City Maitre D’.

I appreciate having access to both the digital and audio arcs, but decided to go with the audio, as it was narrated by the author. Authors are not always the ideal person to narrate their books, but Cecchi-Azzolina is a larger-than-life type of person and a riot. His memoir is filled with outrageous stories, but hearing them in his heavy New York accent with the thrill in his voice, lended to the overall experience.

Your Table is Ready is a great pick for anyone who would like a behind-the- scenes look at the restaurant industry. It has shades of Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential, but instead of a chef’s perspective, Cecchi-Azzolina gives us a glimpse of the chaos happening in the front of house. The chaos that professionals in high-end dining manage to conceal from patrons, usually giving us a calm restaurant experience. Primarily set in the 1980’s, Cecchi-Azzolina’s career in the restaurant industry was drug-fueled and rife with sexism among other aspects of the era that would be considered taboo now. He also speaks of the many friends and colleagues that he lost to the AIDS epidemic, ending the memoir with a very touching tribute. As much as his memoir is a look at the restaurant industry, it is also a peek into the norms of a different era.

Cecchi-Azzolina has plenty of wild stories, including getting entangled with the mob. I’m not going to give the story away, but it’s intense and will have you worried as it unfolds.

Towards the end of the book, I had the surreal experience of realizing that I have friends in common with the author. Cecchi-Azzolina is also an actor and my friends were producers of one of his films. However, the story is better than that, as one of Cecchi-Azzolina’s customers helped fund the film. I immediately paused the audio and called my friend, who had only nice things to say about Cecchi-Azzolina, mentioning that he was the kind of guy, who “always knows a guy.” This confirms my impression of him from his book- he’s a character in the best possible sense!

Your Table is Ready is a fun, fast-paced, engaging read. I’ve never worked in the restaurant industry, but I find the behind-the-scenes of it to be fascinating. It has made me more aware and appreciative of the complexities of running a successful restaurant.