Thank you to NetGalley and Libro FM for providing me with both physical and audio copies of Hua Hsu’s memoir, Stay True.
A recent winner of the Pulitzer Prize for memoir, Hsu recounts his childhood and college years, including the murder of a close friend.
I’m the same age as Hsu and what struck me most about Stay True was how Hsu so vividly captured young adulthood in the late 90’s. I felt transported back to that time in a way that I have not felt from any other writing set in that decade. It was a remarkable experience. Further more, having also lived in the Bay Area during college, I went to Mills and the author attended Berkeley, I connected with the setting, in addition to the era.
Prior to the death of his friend, one of Hsu’s primary concerns was establishing his identity. Visiting record stores and curating his music tastes is an important aspect of this. I remember doing the same in the late 90’s, prior to mp3 players or streaming, when figuring out your tastes and identity took quite a bit of effort and perhaps, even seemed more meaningful.
Hsu creates zines to reflect his thoughts and tastes. Zines are still around of course, but with blogging and social media, a zine feels like a relic of the past. Compared with modern sensibilities, a rapid-fire consumer culture and short attention spans, a zine is positively slow and permanent. It’s akin to a piece of art. All this to say, I had forgotten how we existed in the 90’s and the things that seemed so important when coming of age. Through Hsu’s writing, I felt nostalgic for those early internet days, before social media and before it was common to capture every moment with our phones. How do we know what is special, if we always aim to capture everything?
In addition to pop culture, Hsu’s identity is shaped by his family and the death of his friend. Hsu is a Taiwanese-American and an only child. I am also an only child and I can verify that this signifier has an enormous impact on developing identity. During high school. Hsu’s father moved to Taiwan for work. It’s hard to believe it now, but back during the 80’s and 90’s it was enormously expensive to make phone calls. I think of how lucky we are now, especially as my step kid’s live in Sweden and we can inexpensively speak with them whenever we want. But back then, even the shortest of calls, even calls to a nearby city, were prohibitively expensive. As a work around, Hsu would connect with his father via sending faxes, including getting help on homework this way.
Hsu’s friend Ken was murdered during their time at Berkley. Ken and Hsu had very different personalities. While Hsu sought out obscure bands and thrift store clothes, Ken was less alternative, blending in, rather than stand out. However, this isn’t to say that Ken was actively seeking to mesh. Ken was authentically himself or at least appears to be. Ken’s death during a robbery, shook up Hsu and their extended friend group, the first peer lost. I didn’t experience the loss of a peer until I was in my mid-twenties. It is of course shocking and upsetting to lose a friend, but there is the other level of the death of a person your own age. A confrontation with mortality when you feel invincible.
I was engrossed in Stay True from page one and felt emotionally connected until the last page. A fantastic memoir, one that I have been recommending to everyone. I’m sure with the Pulitzer win that it will get a big, much deserved boost.
Oh, and nothing to do with the book, but one more little side note. I discovered that Hsu is a professor at Bard College in New York, which is where I spent the fall semester of 1995, prior to having to leave due to a family illness.